Capt. Homer Jackson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thirstforvice) wrote2014-11-15 11:52 pm
thirstforvice) wrote2014-11-15 11:52 pm
Entry tags:
A dip in the Thames
Matthew stayed in the London for a full two weeks before Treves had no choice but to send him home. With any other patient, he would have been gone a week ago, or more, but Treves had been concerned about the amount of sedation his patient continued to require. The leg would heal, as it had before, but the Captain's mind seemed broken beyond his repair.
He had even suggested the asylum to the housekeeper, when she showed up to finally take him home, but she had assured him she would be able to look after the Doctor. It was clear that neither she, nor Captain Jackson, had fond associations with the city's madhouse. With assurances that the woman would be able to call on help if she needed it, Treves had reluctantly let them go.
For his part, Matthew suffered the journey home in silence, allowing Mrs Ramsay to remove him from the London in the wheelchair he had refused so vehemently last time his leg had been broken. He'd fought Bennet to let him walk out with some sense of pride, but now... the fight just made him think of his lost lover, and he had lost far worse than his pride.
In the carriage home, Mrs Ramsay had tried to talk about Drake, but Matthew refused to join in. She wanted to talk about a memorial for him, an alternative to a body to give a funeral too. But Matthew had just shaken his head, repeated over and over that Bennet was not dead, only missing. That he required cold, hard proof before he accepted that his lover was truly gone from him.
Reid had been waiting for them at the house, to carry him up the stairs to bed. He had balked then, both at the indignity and the realisation that he was going to have to lie still in the room that was so infused with his Benny. The last night he had lain in that room, he and Bennet had made love until they had been unable to stay awake a moment longer, relaxed in the knowledge that the morning would bring them a holiday.
He had kicked and screamed like an infant as Reid had carried him up the stairs, but it did little more than slow the Inspector a little. He was taken into that room regardless of the swearing and shouting, put to bed by Mrs Ramsay and left once more in the dark and the silence.
**
For weeks, Matthew lies there, saying nothing, eating nothing, drinking the bare minimum. When somebody came to sit with him, be it Mrs Ramsay or Edmund or another bobby from the force, he says the same thing again and again. That Bennet isn't dead, that people need to be out there looking for him. But they only offer their apologies and leave him alone, once more.
In the end, he starts to believe it himself. His Benny would have come home by now after all, no matter how far he had been thrown, how injured he had been. Even if he was incapable of moving, he would have found a way to get a message to him. The evidence was mounting that Bennet Drake was dead, and if that was the case...
He cannot think of anything else for the next few days, incapable of doing anything but crying as the grief finally hits him full force. Mrs Ramsay seems to think this a good thing, for some ridiculous reason, her own mood seemingly starting to improve as Matthew's darkens. For the first time since coming home, she actually starts to leave the house without finding a carer for him, leaving him utterly alone.
Matthew doesn't do anything at first, lying still as he is left alone, but in his mind a plan is forming. By the time Mrs Ramsay leaves him alone for the fourth time, he is prepared.
He leaves a simple note on his pillow:
I miss him too much. I'm sorry.
and leaves behind all the money he has on his person, bar a few coins. Getting out of bed is harder, his body weak and his hands clumsy around the crutches left at his bedside. But he struggles, knowing that the pain is almost at an end now. Soon, he will be with Benny again, and that gives him the strength to dress and make his way from the house.
He flags down a hansom from the pavement, paying his remaining coins to take him down to the river. And then, when he is finally alone on the riverside, he closes his eyes and lets his body fall forwards.
Whatever comes next, he knows his Benny will be waiting for him.
He had even suggested the asylum to the housekeeper, when she showed up to finally take him home, but she had assured him she would be able to look after the Doctor. It was clear that neither she, nor Captain Jackson, had fond associations with the city's madhouse. With assurances that the woman would be able to call on help if she needed it, Treves had reluctantly let them go.
For his part, Matthew suffered the journey home in silence, allowing Mrs Ramsay to remove him from the London in the wheelchair he had refused so vehemently last time his leg had been broken. He'd fought Bennet to let him walk out with some sense of pride, but now... the fight just made him think of his lost lover, and he had lost far worse than his pride.
In the carriage home, Mrs Ramsay had tried to talk about Drake, but Matthew refused to join in. She wanted to talk about a memorial for him, an alternative to a body to give a funeral too. But Matthew had just shaken his head, repeated over and over that Bennet was not dead, only missing. That he required cold, hard proof before he accepted that his lover was truly gone from him.
Reid had been waiting for them at the house, to carry him up the stairs to bed. He had balked then, both at the indignity and the realisation that he was going to have to lie still in the room that was so infused with his Benny. The last night he had lain in that room, he and Bennet had made love until they had been unable to stay awake a moment longer, relaxed in the knowledge that the morning would bring them a holiday.
He had kicked and screamed like an infant as Reid had carried him up the stairs, but it did little more than slow the Inspector a little. He was taken into that room regardless of the swearing and shouting, put to bed by Mrs Ramsay and left once more in the dark and the silence.
**
For weeks, Matthew lies there, saying nothing, eating nothing, drinking the bare minimum. When somebody came to sit with him, be it Mrs Ramsay or Edmund or another bobby from the force, he says the same thing again and again. That Bennet isn't dead, that people need to be out there looking for him. But they only offer their apologies and leave him alone, once more.
In the end, he starts to believe it himself. His Benny would have come home by now after all, no matter how far he had been thrown, how injured he had been. Even if he was incapable of moving, he would have found a way to get a message to him. The evidence was mounting that Bennet Drake was dead, and if that was the case...
He cannot think of anything else for the next few days, incapable of doing anything but crying as the grief finally hits him full force. Mrs Ramsay seems to think this a good thing, for some ridiculous reason, her own mood seemingly starting to improve as Matthew's darkens. For the first time since coming home, she actually starts to leave the house without finding a carer for him, leaving him utterly alone.
Matthew doesn't do anything at first, lying still as he is left alone, but in his mind a plan is forming. By the time Mrs Ramsay leaves him alone for the fourth time, he is prepared.
He leaves a simple note on his pillow:
I miss him too much. I'm sorry.
and leaves behind all the money he has on his person, bar a few coins. Getting out of bed is harder, his body weak and his hands clumsy around the crutches left at his bedside. But he struggles, knowing that the pain is almost at an end now. Soon, he will be with Benny again, and that gives him the strength to dress and make his way from the house.
He flags down a hansom from the pavement, paying his remaining coins to take him down to the river. And then, when he is finally alone on the riverside, he closes his eyes and lets his body fall forwards.
Whatever comes next, he knows his Benny will be waiting for him.
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"Enough, Captain - enough!"
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"You bring them to me, right now!"
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"You are raving!" he shouts. "Bennet Drake is dead!"
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"Bring your limbs and I will prove it, goddammit! Or take yourself to Limehouse Docks."
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"Hobbs, fetch the laudanum - quick, man!"
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"Should I send for Treves too, sir?" Hobbs asks as he passes over the laudanum bottle.
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