Come Dine With Me

[thirstforvice]

Slowly, life returns to normal.

Treves visits, regularly at first, then less so, helping Matthew to rehabilitate his leg to a level where he can walk without help once more, though he still relies heavily on the use of a cane. Bennet's memories continue to return, in steady dribs and drabs, and Edmund invites them both to return to their work before too long. Matthew's stomach turns at the thought of going back on the trains again, even the underground ones, and blames his leg for why he favours a carriage.

He's taking laudanum again, coca too, but that he keeps quiet. There's no need to worry Bennet with that, not yet anyway, not when everything is still so fragile.

They've been back at Leman Street just over a week when Matthew and Bennet return home to a frantically cooking Mrs Ramsay.

"There was a message, from your Inspector Reid," she informs them both as she moves around the kitchen. "He will be dining with us this evening."

Comments

[thirstforvice]

Matthew sighs, leaning his head against Bennet's shoulder as he sits at his side.

"Have they gone?"

[thegentlemanthug]

"They've gone," Bennet confirms.

"They had no right to be here, say what they did. Not in our house."

[thirstforvice]

"We'd have found out, sooner or later," even now, Matthew tries to reason with Susan, and paint a better picture of her.

"Best we know now."

[thegentlemanthug]

"She came here, ate our food, drank our tea, and then dared to say those words to you?"

Bennet is angry now, his real contention boiling over. The memory is unclear, murky, but his hatred for Susan burns strong.

[thirstforvice]

Matthew can only shrug. He's known for a long time that Caitlin saw him as an abject failure; he shouldn't be surprised that she's found somebody who can give her what she wants.

"She never even mentioned wanting children," he says, thinking out loud rather than trying to draw Bennet into conversation about his failed marriage.

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet flinches.

"Is that...would that be something you want...wanted? With her?"

[thirstforvice]

"I don't know. Probably not..." Matthew frowns. "Point is, you're the one asking me that question. She never even mentioned it. Never even asked. And now I'm the fool for not giving her something she never even asked me for."

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet falls silent, his mood dark. Susan casts a long shadow.

"It would've been another way to trap you," he says, eventually.

[thirstforvice]

"She weren't throwin' punches at Reid, was she?" Matthew tries hard not to snap, knowing none of this is Bennet's fault, but he is hurting.

"It's me. It's always me."

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet has nothing to say to that, hoped that Matthew would've realised that he valued him more than that - that the harpy was the problem, not him.

Instead, he stays quiet, sad, waiting on what he does not know.

[thirstforvice]

"What is it about me?" Matthew's not quite ready to drop the subject.

"Bet I drive you up the wall 'nd all, don't I?"

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet shakes his head.

"No one deserves what she did to you, but you least of all."

[thirstforvice]

"She weren't the first, though," Matthew sighs, but drops his head onto Bennet's shoulder all the same and says no more.

[thegentlemanthug]

"You ever think you might just have terrible taste?"

Bennet tries for the joke, bringing his hand up to hold Matthew's.

[thirstforvice]

"I love you," Matthew half-proclaims, half-reasons. "'nd you've never been anythin' but good."

[thegentlemanthug]

"Not always," Bennet says, and falls quiet again.

Some memories are stronger than others.

[thirstforvice]

Based on the yardsticks Matthew has, Bennet has been nothing but saintly to him. Even that one time he'd been attacked, ended up in the London with a concussion, that hadn't been Bennet's fault.

"You're perfect," he promises, patting Bennet's leg.

[thegentlemanthug]

"I'm just a man," Bennet tells him. "A mortal man. Unlike that hell-demon what just left."

[thirstforvice]

"More than enough for me," Matthew drops his head further, curling up and resting against Bennet's lap.

"Did you ever want children, Bennet?"

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet gives the questions serious thought, his brow furrowed.

"I never really thought on it. I reckoned it would happen, if I married, but then I met you."

[thirstforvice]

"And you don't..." Matthew is scared to ask. "Regret it? Now?"

[thegentlemanthug]

"You're all I want. Our life together. What would I know about raising a kid anyway?"

Bennet kisses the top of Matthew's head.

[thirstforvice]

"I bet you'd be good," Matthew thinks. "Better than me. Never know what to do with... small people."

[thegentlemanthug]

"Can barely take care of myself," Bennet smiles. "S'what I've got a housekeeper for."

[thirstforvice]

Matthew finally gives a ghost of a smile, turning his face to press his lips against Bennet's stomach, not ready yet to sit up.

"And me. You've got me."